The raven-haired and dishevelled shrew looked at me
over her cluttered, disgusting desk
she held my file and read my nameshe asked me to remember numbers and names
She flipped through my file
she talked at me and barely looked at me
I was a fly
pin through me
held to paper
my name stolen
I’m just a case number
then she sent me on my way
Like a rape victim
wrists cut from fighting
hair matted with sweat
wishing I could feel clean again
I held my breath and prayed to deities I didn’t believe in
hoping against reason that it was worth it
hoping that allowing someone to
open up my skull and bash my brains to
see what the pieces look like
was worthwhile
“you aren’t broken enough”, she said
I smiled and thanked her for her time
Under thirty minutes
was all it took to dismiss me
I dreamed of blood
I longed to show her how broken I was
I wanted to go back to her office that smelled of old leather
and remove my skin
neatly
then I would fold it
and hand it to her while it was still warm
Am I broken enough now?
Used Words for Sale 